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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "iqannnylirod" |
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What do you call somebody with no body and a nose?

Nobody knows!

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "iqannnylirod" |
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Two zombie students were on the way to their high school in Los Angeles when they spotted a white BMW with the actress Halle Berry stopped at a red light. Seizing the opportunity, they immediately rushed the car, dragged the startled Ms. Berry from the front seat, and ate her brain.

Dragging the corpse behind them as they walked to school, they suddenly remembered that their school was having a contest to see who could best decorate the corridors of the school for Christmas.

Sure enough, they won the contest. The name of their entry, "Deck the Halls with Bowels of Halle!"

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posted by "Alan Valentine" |
$6.00 won 3 votes

The chief of staff of the Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in a recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. So he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them.The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself. He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"

The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"

The general turns to his aide and says, "Sign him up -- all the paper work done, everything, do it today!" The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills can you bring to the Air Force?"

The young man says, "I chop wood!"

"Son," the general replies, "We don't need wood choppers in the Air Force. What else do you know how to do?"

"I chop wood!" the young man repeats.

The general huffs, "You are not listening to me. We don't need wood choppers; this is the 21st century!"

"Well," the young man says, "you hired my brother."

"Of course we did," says the general, "But he's a pilot!"

The young man rolls his eyes and says, "I have to CHOP it before he can pile it!"

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CATEGORY Military Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "GDL" |