Latest Jokes

$10.00 won 11 votes

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

11 votes

Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Laugh and Enjoy Life" |
$6.00 won 3 votes

Parallel lines have so much in common...

It's a shame they will never meet.

3 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Laugh and Enjoy Life" |
$5.00 won 2 votes

With today's rapid advance in technology, we thought it important to bring to our readers' attention some new engineering conversions:

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer: 1 lite-year

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line. (think about it for a moment)

1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

10 cards: 1 decacards

1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen

2 monograms: 1 diagram

8 nickels: 2 paradigms

2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbird

2 votes

Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "genius" |
0 votes

When, and if, Mick Jagger retires, he has expressed interest in building structures assembled with concrete and mortar...

That would make him a Rolling Stonemason.

0 votes

posted by "Alan Valentine" |