Why are ghosts always honest?
They have no choice, you can see right through them!
(Grandchild) Were you in the war Grandpa?
(Grandpa) Yes, I was a fighter pilot!
(Child's mother) "Weren’t you stationed in Colorado dad?”
(Grandpa) Yes, and I’ll have you know that not one enemy aircraft got past Nevada!
Some people wake up feeling like a million bucks...
I wake up feeling more like "Insufficient Funds".
In anatomy class at medical school, suddenly one of the dead bodies sat straight up!
The instructor said, “OK, who said Abra-Cadaver?”