Latest Jokes

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I was going to join the debate team, but somebody talked me out of it.

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posted by "wadejagz" |
2 votes
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A lawyer returns to the parking lot to find his sports car with the headlights broken and considerable damage to the front end.

There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper: "Sorry, I just backed into your car. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I'm leaving my name, address and phone number. But I'm not."

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
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A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.

"Yes?"

"Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?" The man looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15."

The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger. "Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"

"8:25!"

The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!" Once again he settled back to sleep.He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.

"Sir, sir? It's 8:45!"

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CATEGORY Sport Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
3 votes

Five year old Frankie's parents bought him some new shoes. It had been raining so they told Frankie, "You can't walk in mud puddles with your new shoes."

Frankie went outside as his parents watched from the window. The first thing Frankie did was go to the nearest mud puddle and began to stop his feet in the muddy water.

With the biggest smile on his face Frankie ran back into the house and announced his shoes work just fine in mud puddles.

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Marty" |