Wife: "I feel like you are always pushing me around and talking behind my back."
Husband: "Well, honey, you are in a wheelchair...."
Robinson Crusoe, the shipwrecked golfer, made the best of his tiny island. When a cruise liner spotted his distress signals and sent a boat to investigate, the landing party was amazed to find a crude but recognizable nine-hole course which the castaway had played with driftwood woods, whalebone and coral putter and balls carved out of pumice stone.
"Quite a layout," said the officer in charge of the rescuers.
"You're too kind, it's very rough and ready," the goatskin-clad golfer responded. Then he smiled slyly, "I am however, quite proud of the water hazard."
Keep a very firm grasp on reality...
That way you can strangle it at any time.
We were hosted by a community for our practicum in Nursing. The town hall was already full so the town representative offered the stage next to a basketball court for our temporary abode.
One student came to me and told me that one of our students, Jason, wouldn't sleep on the stage. I asked why.
My student replied, "Jason has stage fright."