Latest Jokes

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How many astronauts does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two astronauts to change a light bulb. Astronaut number one to hold the light bulb and astronaut number two to rotate astronaut number one.

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posted by "Marty" |
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Used car salesperson to customer: How would you like to buy a car with zero down and zero per month?

Customer: (slight pause) For how many months?

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posted by "Marty" |
$9.00 won 2 votes

A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes that are clearly undersized for him. The salesman says, "But, sir, I can see from up here that you'll need much bigger shoes than that."

The guy says, "That's OK, please bring me the smaller ones."

The salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them, ties them tight, and then he stands up, obviously in pain. The salesman just has to ask, "Sir, why must you have these undersized shoes?"

He says to the salesman, "I work a boring job, my mother-in-law has just moved in with us, my wife is nagging all the time, and our daughter does nothing but run around screaming the whole day. The only pleasure I have in life is taking off these tight shoes."

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Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes
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This story takes place at a large valley. On one side of the valley lived the rabbit, and on the other side lived the bear. One day, the bear was sitting on a stump, enjoying his breakfast of berries. Then he heard someone yelling at him. It was the rabbit. "Hey! Hey, Teddy, get your butt over here. I've got something to show you!"

"Not now! I'm eating."

"Oh come on!" said the rabbit. "It's really important."

"No way."

"Please. It's urgent."

So the bear decided to go all the way over to the other side of the valley. It took him half a day, he was exhausted. When he finally got there he was groaning and out of breath.

"Well, rabbit," he panted. "What did you want to tell me?"

"Hey, Teddy," the rabbit began, "look how many berries are on the other side of the valley."

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CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |