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Favorite this joke Teacher: "Now, class, can anyone tell me what the word 'Can't' is short for?"
Lizzy: "Can not."
Teacher: "Very good! Now, can anyone tell me what 'Won't' is short for?"
Lewis: "Will not."
Teacher: "That's right! Now, can anyone tell me what 'Don't' is short for?"
Harold: "Donut."
There was a young fellow from Trinity
Who took the square root of infinity
But the number of digits
Gave him the fidgets
He dropped math and took up divinity
The day after the Annual Academy Awards program had aired, my wife and I were riding on the the freeway, when she saw a digital highway information sign which read, "There's no Oscar given for being a lead-foot!"
I quickly responded, "No, but you might get 'slapped' with a ticket!"
A homeowner leans over his fence, holding a football, and shouts to two small boys on the other side of the street, "Is this your ball?"
"Did it hit anything, mister?" one of the boys asks.
"No."
"Then it's ours."
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