Latest Jokes

3 votes
 

A man wants to celebrate his wife’s Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake.

Well he thinks for a while and says, "Put 'You're not getting older,' at the top and 'You're getting better' at the bottom."

The real fun didn’t start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:

"You're not getting older at the top, You're getting better at the bottom."

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$10.00 won 2 votes

A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked.

"What did you take?" his priest asked.

"Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake."

"This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?"

"No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."

2 votes

Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$8.00 won 2 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: "Close Enough."

2 votes

CATEGORY Computer Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
3 votes

I got the strangest recording when I called the phone company the other day.

It said, "You have been connected to the correct department on the first try. This is against company policy. Please hang up and redial."

3 votes

posted by "merk" |