A politician awoke in a hospital bed after a complicated operation and found that the curtains were drawn around him.
"Why are the curtains closed," he said. "Is it night?"
A nurse replied, "No, it's just that there's a fire at the empty warehouse across the street, and we didn't want you waking up and thinking that the operation was unsuccessful."
The young boy was spending a Sunday afternoon with his grandpa. Looking at pictures of his grandpa in his military uniform, the boy asked, "Grandpa, did you ever kill anyone in the war?"
"No champ, I never did."
"That's a good thing."
"You're telling me," began grandpa, "I was the cook!"