Latest Jokes

Patient: Doctor I think I've been bitten by a vampire.

Doctor: Drink this water.

Patient: Will this make me feel better?

Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see leaks and know where the vampire bit you.

I use to work in a calendar factory.

The management fired me after 1 day.

All I did was take one day off.

I was in the supermarket the other day and suddenly I got hit in the head with a can of soda...

I'm so glad it was a soft drink!

A guy walks into a restaurant with a small dog. The waiter says, "Sir, I'm very sorry, but we don't allow dogs in here."

The guy replies, "But this isn't just any dog ... this dog can play the piano!"

The waiter responds, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay and have a meal on the house!"

So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing. Ragtime, Mozart ... and the waiter and patrons are enjoying the music. Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.

The waiter asks the guy, "What was that all about?"

The guy says, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor."