Latest Jokes

0 votes

A panhandler who was new to the business asked the advice of an old pro who has worked the streets for years. After hours of intensive training the old pro was ready to send the tenderfoot out. "Don't forget what I taught you, Frank," Bob told him.

They walked to the corner of a busy street. "Go get 'em, Frankie boy. Here comes a guy who looks like he's got some dough."

Frank walks up to the man and immediately starts his routine. "Hey man, got a quarter for a cup of coffee?"
"No."
"How about a dollar for a Mickey D's? C'mon man, I'm hungry!"
"I said no!"
"Then how about letting me use your credit card for some clothes??"
"Are you kidding me?"
"Can I borrow your car to visit my sick mama?"
"Get lost!
"Then just let me stay at your house until I get back on my feet."
"I'm calling 911!"

Dejected, Frank walks back over to Bob and asked him what he did wrong. "You violated the number one rule of begging," Bob told him.

"What's that?"

"Don't put all your begs in one ask-it!"

0 votes

posted by "Alan Valentine" |
2 votes

“Poor Old fool,” thought the gentleman as he watched an old man trying to fish in a puddle of water outside of the bar. He decided to invite the old man inside for a drink.

As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught so far?”

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth today.”

2 votes

posted by "ERS" |
1 votes

While on patrol, I arrested a burglar who had injured himself running from a home. He told me he had broken in and unhooked the phone before searching the home. He panicked when he heard a woman’s voice. I entered the house and heard the same voice... “If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try your call again.”

1 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "ERS" |
1 votes

On a first date, the young man thought he'd impress the young lady, a piano and voice teacher, by taking her to a karaoke bar.

After going up and singing a song, and now feeling confident as ever, he thought he'd ask a music question to impress her even more. He asked her, "What key did I sing that in?"

She replied, "Most of them."

1 votes

CATEGORY Musician Jokes
posted by "ERS" |