The nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down outside the emergency room where another golfer, who had a golf ball driven down his throat, was being treated by a doctor.
"Is he a relative of yours?" the nurse, stepping outside the room, asked the pacing golfer.
"No," replied the man. "It's my ball."
The local hospital for the criminally insane has been trying to help the inmates adjust to society and also get exercise at the same time. So, they built a nice nature center with a nature trail around the grounds.
What did they name this nature trail?
What else, Psycho Path.
George and Mary were celebrating their 50th anniversary and were spending the night in the famous Washington DC Watergate Hotel. After retiring at midnight Mary recalled the spy story at the Watergate and asked her husband to get up and check the room.
Disgruntled he looked behind the mirror, the pictures, under the bed and finally under the big circular carpet in the center of the room under the chandelier. Mary exclaimed, "There, look, there is a big plate there, look under it."
Fortunately George had his Swiss Army knife and unscrewed the four large screws, finding nothing. Satisfied the room was not bugged they both went to sleep. Upon checkout the next morning the clerk asked them if they had any problems in their room last night. No, they replied and asked why he asked.
He told them that at midnight the room under them had the chandelier fall down in the center of their room.