A Native American gentleman was at the local home improvement store purchasing a few bags of gardening soil. As he waited in line to pay for his bags of dirt, a guy behind him spoke to him. "You gonna do some planting?"
The Native American man turned to him and, with a very serious face, said, "No, I am buying my land back one bag at a time and I am getting a receipt this time."
The shocked look on the guy's face was priceless.
A gentleman enters a restaurant and asks the waitress what was on special. She replied, "Today we have lobster tales for 50 cents."
He said, "I'll take a dozen!"
She told him since it was a special he would have to pay in advance which he did. Then she said, "Are you ready for your first tale?"
He assured her he couldn't wait. Then she began... "Once upon a time there was this little lobster....."