These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations...
On a door: "Push. If that doesn't work, pull. If that doesn't work, we must be closed."
Message on a leaflet: "If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons."
Outside a photographer's studio: "Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also."
In a store: "Prices subject to change according to customer's attitude."
Next to a swimming pool: "Welcome to our ool. Notice there's no 'p' in it. Let's keep it that way."
A Catholic Priest, a Protestant Minister, and a Jewish Rabbi were fishing one day. The Priest and the Minister got into a deep discussion as to when life truly begins.
The Priest said that life is eternal, even before one is born into this world. The Minister disagreed and claimed life can only truly begin once a person is actually born into this world.
The two debated this for some time. Finally, the Rabbi spoke up and said, "My brothers, you have it all wrong. True life can only begin when the kids graduate collage and move out of the house."
"I can't remember...
Do I work at home or do I live at work?
Which is it?
Question: Before showering, should one take off their shirt first or their pants (or lower-half garments) first?
Answer: One should close the door first!