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Favorite this joke A farmer was walking in his field. He heard 2 potatoes say, "I only have eyes for you."
The corn plants said, "I have ears and I can hear you."
The potato said, "Don't worry, the daisies won't tell!"
And through the grape vine they all heard a voice say, "Oh, 'peas' be quiet, I am trying to sleep."
To keep their active two-year-old from roaming onto the busy street in front of their home, my sister and brother-in-law decided to put a gate across the driveway.
After working over two weekends on the project, Robert was ready to attach the lock to complete the job. He was working on the yard side of the gate, with his daughter nearby, when he dropped the screwdriver he was using and it rolled under the gate, out of his reach.
"I’ll get it, Daddy," Lauren called, nimbly crawling under the newly erected barrier.
Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I told the kids we had to leave "right now" — at which point our teenage daughter headed for the bathroom to apply makeup. Her dad yelled for her to get in the car immediately, and headed for the garage grumbling.
On the way to the multiplex my husband glanced in the rearview mirror and caught our teen applying lipstick and blush, which produced the predictable lecture. "Look at your mom," he said. "She didn’t put on any makeup just to go sit in a dark movie theater."
From the back I heard, "Yeah, but Mom doesn’t need makeup." My heart swelling with the compliment, I turned back to thank this sweet, wonderful daughter of mine just as she continued, "Nobody looks at her."
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