A woman goes to the Doctor and tells him she feels like a deck of cards.
The Doctor says to the woman, "Please sit down and I'll deal with you later."
What do you call a herd of cattle with a sense of humor?
A laughing stock.
School teacher sends home a note with student. The note reads, ”Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.”
Mother sends a note back the following day, ”Please advise a solution. Father has the same problem."
A pizza and an apple were thrown down from the 15th floor, which will reach the ground first?
The pizza will, it's fast food!