A kind farmer told the forlorn lad whose load of hay had overturned in the road, to forget his troubles and come in and have dinner with his family. "There will be time enough to clean up the load after a good meal."
The boy demurred; said he didn't think his father would like it. But the farmer persisted and won. After the meal the boy said he felt better and expressed his appreciation for the hospitality. At the same time, he was sure his father would not be happy.
"Nonsense!" said the host. "By the way," he added, "Where is your father?"
"Under the hay," was the response.
The teacher asked the class to write a composition telling what they would do if they had a million dollars.
Every pupil except Little Johnny began to write immediately. Little Johnny sat idle, twiddling his thumbs, looking out the window.
Teacher collected the papers, and Little Johnny handed in a blank sheet.
“Why Little Johnny,” the teacher said, ”everyone has written two pages or more, while you have done nothing. Why is that?
“Well,” replied Little Johnny, “that’s what I would do if I had a million dollars.”
During graduate school, I tutored a football player in Psychology 101. After the session, my supervising professor asked me if I was interested in the student, since he was a good-looking athlete.
“No, I’m not,” I assured him.
“Yeah, you probably prefer men who eat quiche,” he joked.
“Actually, I prefer men who can spell quiche.”
A telemarketer calls, "I would like to speak with Max, please."
The homeowner reluctantly replies, "I suppose that would be possible, but it seems rather strange."
The telemarketer responds, "Why would that be?"
The homeowner answers, "This is the first time we've ever had a call for the dog."