What is the difference between a salon and a saloon?
A salon is where you go to make yourself look better.
A saloon is where you go to make everyone else look better.
Once two star football players had failed a test, and could not play football in the championship game. So, after much begging from the coach, the teacher finally let the two take the test again. They took the test, and turned it in.
The coach and the two students watched carefully over the teacher grading the tests. She checked over the first test, then over the second test. Half way through the second test she stopped and put a great big "F" on both tests.
The coach was furious and demanded an explanation. She said that they had cheated. "Why?" the coach asked.
The teacher showed him number six. The coach looked at number six on the first test. The answer read "I don't know." The coach said that it did not prove anything.
The teacher handed him the second test. The answer read "I don't know either."
Nurse: "How old are you?"
Patient: "None of your business."
Nurse: "But the doctor must know your age for his records. Please, just tell me, I'm going to find it out anyway."
Patient: "Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?"
Nurse: "Yes. Fifty."
Patient: "All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?"
Nurse: "Zero."
Patient: "Right. And that's exactly the chance of me telling you my age."