Shortly after their honeymoon a wife came up with a list of the changes she wanted her new husband to make. Trying to please her, he agreed to change.
A year later, after numerous changes, his wife started complaining he wasn't the man she married.
Go figure.
What's the most important thing an elephant looks for when buying a car?
Trunk Space.
A fifth grade science teacher began her discussion of atoms by saying, "Never trust an atom... they make up everything!"
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly."
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"
"Yes" the mother answered.
"And how is your son now?" he asked.
"Eh, who cares?" she replied.