Latest Jokes

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A guy was gazing at the stars through his binoculars when his wife came out in a new dress. She asked if it made her hips look smaller. He paused for a second, turned his binoculars around, and then looked at her. "I’ve got some good news honey, you’ve never looked better."

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CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
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Two best friends were having lunch together. One was trim and the other was rather rotund. The trim friend ordered a salad, his friend ordered a Ruben sandwich with large fries and a milkshake.

The trim one said, "You don't have to eat every speck off your plate; being overweight can put you in an early grave."

His friend replied, "You know I don't like wasting anything. When it's my time to go I plan on filling the box."

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CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
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One day an extremely nervous dental patient came for a root-canal surgery. He was brought into the examining room and made comfortable in the reclining dental chair. The dentist then injected a numbing agent around the patient's tooth, and left the room for a few minutes while the medication took hold.

When the dentist returned, the patient was standing next to a tray of dental equipment, "What are you doing by the surgical instruments?" asked the surprised dentist.

Focused on his task, the patient replied, "I'm taking out the ones I don't like."

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CATEGORY Dentist Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
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I feel sorry for Moses... he spent forty years wandering the desert, eating nothing but the bread off the ground and the occasional bird, and every day a million people would come up to him and ask, "Are we there yet?"

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posted by "iqannnylirod" |