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Favorite this joke An old lady went on a cruise. When the ship was underway, she stood on the upper deck and watched the world go by. The day was very windy so she stood with one hand holding down her hat.
A young man walked by and excused himself to address her. "Madam, are you aware that your skirt is blowing in the wind and fully exposing you?"
"Yes," she replied.
"But, your rear end is totally exposed?" he said.
"Young man, everything down there is quite old. My hat, on the other hand, I bought yesterday."
Workers from different trades were asked, "What is the number one rule in your profession?"
Here were some responses...
Plumber: “Don’t chew your fingernails.”
Roofer: “You are fired before you hit the ground.”
Camp counselor: “Don’t lose the kid.”
Scuba diver: “If it moves, it wants to kill you.”
Photographer: “Take the lens cap off.”
What college does Kim Kardashian's daughter want to attend when she grows up?
Northwestern.
I told my boss that three companies were after me, so I needed a raise in pay to stay with the current job.
He asked which companies?
I told him gas, electric, and cable.
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