A woman in my office recently divorced after years of marriage, had signed up for a refresher CPR course.
"Is it hard to learn?" someone asked.
"Not at all," my co-worker replied. "Basically you're asked to breathe life into a dummy. I don't expect to have any problem. I did that for 12 years."
Upon receiving her manuscript with a rejection letter back from a major publishing company, the author sent a letter to the editor.
"Sir," she began, "you sent back a story of mine. I know that you did not read the story, for as a test I pasted together pages 18,19,20 and 21. My story came back with these pages still stuck together. I know you are a fraud and turned down the manuscript without reading them."
The editor replied: "Madam, at breakfast when I open an egg I don't have to eat the whole egg to discover it is bad."
Agent (to writer): I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
Writer: First tell me the good news.
Agent: Paramount Pictures just loved your script, absolutely ate it up.
Writer: That’s fantastic! And the bad news?
Agent: Paramount Pictures is the name of my dog.