Latest Jokes

A 106-year-old cowboy in Texas recently passed away. He was asked on his last birthday earlier this year his secret to longevity.

He told them that for the past 50 years he had sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning.

He left behind 8 children, 21 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole in the crematorium.

A prominent surgeon, who was a member of operating teams at both St. Francis Hospital and Christ Hospital in the Chicago area, would operate in the morning and then field calls about his patients in the evening.

One night, a few dinner guests were quite surprised as the good doctor was on the phone talking to a resident at Christ Hospital, when the other phone rang. His wife answered and whispered to her husband, "It's St. Francis calling."

He whispered back, "Tell St. Francis I'll have to call back. I'm talking to Christ."

When my wife was in labor, I would tell her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn’t seem amused.

It must have been the delivery.

The girlfriend stands by door, not sure what to say. “Honey, why is your whole upper half covered in baby oil?”

“Well, you’re always saying I never glisten,” replies the boyfriend.

“Listen! I said you never LISTEN!”