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Favorite this joke Friend: "You shouldn't be gambling. One day you may win but you will lose the next day. The following day you may win again but the very next day you may lose."
Me: "Oh, I hear you! But don't worry, I will not be gambling daily... only on alternate days!"
At a workshop on dog temperament, the instructor noted that a test for a canine's disposition was for an owner to fall down and act hurt. A dog with poor temperament would try to bite the person, whereas a good dog would lick his owner's face or show concern.
Once, while eating pizza in the living room, I decided to try out this theory on my two dogs. I stood up, clutched my heart, let out a scream and collapsed on the floor.
The dogs looked at me, glanced at each other, and raced to the coffee table for my pizza.
I was at a mini-mart one day when I noticed a woman smoking a cigarette while she was gassing up her car. There was a deputy in the store watching her. Suddenly the woman's arm caught fire. She was screaming and trying desperately to put it out, but couldn't.
The deputy ran over and put out the fire with his soda. He then handcuffed the lady and put her in the back of his squad car. I couldn't resist going over to him and asking what he was charging the woman with.
He looked at me, smiled, and said, "I'm charging her with waving a firearm around."
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