Latest Jokes

At the zoo I noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures.

I asked the keeper, “How did that toast get into the cage?"

"It was bread in captivity,” she replied.

Little fishy in the sea,
How I wish I could catch thee.
Take you home as a new found pet,
Get you checked out by my vet.

Buy you glasses
A little coat,
Some fin mittens,
A tie that floats.

Send you to college to get a degree
Oh my gosh, what you're costing me!
That tie! The vet!
Oh the prices I've paid!
The next thing you're getting,
I'm afraid, is filleted.

If God had used the metric system, would there have been ten disciples instead of twelve?

Why don't "minimalists" find a shorter name for themselves?