Latest Jokes

What is your resolution going to be for the new year?

Still on 1080p?

Or upgraded to 4k already?

The boss is finally old enough to retire from the company. On his last day of work, he ordered a farewell party for himself. The boss wanted everyone to express their good feeling about him by writing on the farewell card, so later he could remember how his staff would "miss" him. Most people are writing standard phrases like, Without you, the company will never be the same... We will always remember you... etc.

Obviously the boss was not satisfied. "I need something from the bottom of your heart, something really touching, you know. Okay, John, you have been working with me for the last 20 years. You are my best staff. I am retiring now. What do you have to say?"

Slowly but firmly, John wrote, "The best news in 20 years!"

“Are you making any New Year’s Resolutions?” my friend asked.

“Yes. I’ve resolved to stop playing so much polo,” I remarked.

“Since when have you been playing polo?"

“Never. But I figured that is one resolution I could keep!”