An older couple went to dinner at a trendy restaurant that had no printed menus--just a scannable QR code to see the menu on your phone.

After much grumbling about new-fangled things, they ordered a light dinner and afterward the waiter delivered the check.

When the waiter came back for payment, the husband displayed his phone to the waiter showing an image of a $100 bill.

"Here. You can keep the change."

For once, instead of the ridiculous statement, "Please note our menu options have changed..."

How about, "Our menu options are the same as they have been for years. Just prepare to be on hold for a very long time..."

My Friend Benny kept dropping his phone and cracking his screen. He went through a seemingly endless series of visits to cellphone screen replacement shops, and sometimes ending up having to buy a whole new phone.

I finally asked him the obvious. "Why don't you order a case?"

A few days later he got a large box delivered with 24 iPhones inside.

An elderly couple were discussing the news, and the husband read from the paper, "It says, 'After the collapse of FTX, Beyonce could be next.' Why would a singer be in trouble?"

The wife blurts back, "It's Binance, you idiot."