"I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59."
"Why is that?"
"Because I like that one to one time.”
Guy 1: "Hey, have you met my vegetarian girlfriend?"
Guy 2: "Nah, I've never met herbivore."
What type of organization is atheism?
It's a non-prophet organization.
After becoming a pair, what did one shoe say to the other shoe?
"Will you be my solemate?"
The other shoe replies, "No, you're nothing but a heel!"