Yesterday the Police arrested me for unsolicited Spooning...
I wasn't charged, they just held me over night.
Which I loved, by the way.
Lady at shoe store: "Pardon me, but do you have any loafers?'
Store clerk: "Yes we do."
Lady: "Well, send one of them here to help me carry these boxes."
Scientists have been studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds.
They’ve left no tern unstoned.
“I have a pet manatee.”
“What’s his name?”
“His name is Hindenburg but I call him Hugh for short.”
“Oh! The Hugh Manatee!”