What word starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?
Envelope.
If you need a shoulder to cry on...
Just pull off on the side of the road!
A homeowner phones a plumber, "Can you come over and fix my kitchen sink again?"
The plumber replied, "You know I'm always at your disposal."
What's Forrest Gump's computer password?
1Forrest1