I tried being a tailor, but wasn't suited for it...
Mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
I used to work in the woods as a lumberjack...
But just couldn't hack it...
So they gave me the ax!
Q: What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet?
A: "Supplies!"
A new years resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.