A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. After noticing there are pieces of meat nailed to the ceiling of the bar, he asks the barman what they are for. The barman replies, “If you can jump up and pull one of them down you get free beer all night. If you fail, you have to pay the bar $100. Do you want to give it a try?”
The man thinks about it for a minute before saying, “Nah, no thanks. The steaks are too high!”
The young couple admired the scarecrow they saw along the road. "Look at that," said the girl. "Not a crow in sight."
The boy looked at the scarecrow and said, "Good job scarecrow!"
To their surprise the scarecrow replied. "Hay, it's in my jeans."
A cowboy adopted a dachshund...
... So he could get a long little doggie.
One day a large number of forest animals were watching two skunks having a knock-down, drag-out argument.
The argument was pretty even, so they each turned their backs on the other and let go with their odor, spraying each other.
An old bear standing on the side said, “I guess they each had to get in their two scents worth.”