word play jokes

Do you know why a roach clip is called a roach clip?

Because "pot holder" was already taken.

***Punny News Headlines***

Metal fans keep cool at concert...
Limbo dancers reach new low....
Lawyer loses his case- Finds it in Car....
Cellmates complete each other sentences...
Global explorer finds himself....
Missing link found online....

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Sometimes I feel like no one understands me- not even Siri. I dictated a text, on my phone, to my daughter. I said "Mom and I have been praying for you lately."

But when I checked it, I found that it read, "Mom and I have been praying for you lightly." Yeah we didn't want to overdo it or anything.