word play jokes

The barbershop was crowded, so the woman at the cash register offered to put my name on the waiting list.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Stephen, with a P-H,” I said.

Minutes later, a chair opened up, and his name was called….."Pheven"?

Johnny’s Father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi. “It’s taped under the modem,” I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right?

T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M

Paddy and Murphy are wandering in the desert fortunately they have plenty of water but no food.
Murphy finally gives up sitting down on the ground and he tells Paddy to go on without him. Paddy protests but gets nowhere so he walks on without his friend only to return screaming Murphy, Murphy come quickly you wont believe your eyes and tells Murphy of a fantastical tree he has just found with a bacon butty on every branch.
Murphy picks himself up and protesting all the way as he makes his way to the top of the ridge only to look down into a bowl shaped valley, at one solitary tree with a sandwich on every branch.
The two friends run to the tree and pick a sandwich off the tree and take a bite only for a hundred screaming ancient warriors to appear intent on taking there lives.
Murphy says “Paddy this was no bacon butty tree this was a ham bush”