word play jokes

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Sometimes I feel like no one understands me- not even Siri. I dictated a text, on my phone, to my daughter. I said "Mom and I have been praying for you lately."

But when I checked it, I found that it read, "Mom and I have been praying for you lightly." Yeah we didn't want to overdo it or anything.

You want to hear a word I just made up ?

Plagiarism....