word play jokes

A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"

The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

My neighbor was complaining about how bad she needed new tires and how much they cost. I told her to start putting her extra change in a jar with a label reading, "Re-TIRE-ment Fund".

"Look! There's Linda Rondstadt!"

"Where? Where is she?"

"Right there! Here she comes, running full speed, right at you!"

"I still don't see her."

"You idiot! She just Blue Bayou!"