word play jokes

Why is it that everyone is so worn out on April 01?

They have just endured a March of 31 days!

"Well, what seems to be the problem?" asked the clock repair man.

"It's my grandfather clock. It used to go tic toc, tic toc, tic toc. Now, it just goes tic, tic, tic, tic, tic," replied the young lady.

"Hmmm, I think I can fix this," he says. He opens the door on the clock, looks at it, and then says to the lady, "Don't worry, we have ways of making it toc!"

If it's "I before E, except after C", then shouldn't Albert Einstein be Albert Ienstien?

I must be following my diet too closely...

Because I keep gaining on it.