I’ve been prescribed anti-gloating cream...
I can’t wait to rub it in!
My friend Mac didn’t think he was fat...
Till the woman in McDonald’s said: “Sorry about your weight.”
I just found out I'm colorblind.
The diagnosis came completely out of the purple
Yesterday the Police arrested me for unsolicited Spooning...
I wasn't charged, they just held me over night.
Which I loved, by the way.