Why did the cat want to join the Red Cross?
He wanted to be a first aid kit!
A friend of mine told her husband they had a Catholic bird in their yard.
"A what? How do you know it's a Catholic bird?"
"Because it's a Cardinal."
There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?
None, because they were all a bunch of copycats.
My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes.
I asked her, "What should I do to stop my addiction?"
She said, "Hey, whatever means necessary."
"No, no it doesn't," I said.