word play jokes

A wife was a little guilty that her husband wasn’t very happy because she didn’t like to do anything and didn’t want to ever leave the house. With this in mind, while eating an apple, the wife suggested he seek out a Psychic to help him find fun.

Seeing him happy again a few weeks later she asked if her suggestion helped him at all. Her husband told her that her suggestion to seek out a “Side Chick” was very good!

Girlfriend: “Let’s go to Utah!”

Boyfriend: “Why Utah?”

Girlfriend: Because I’m Short and Utah!”

Busily texting his girlfriend while hiking along the Colorado River, our fearless trail guide stumbled over a tree root and went flying head-over-heels into a patch of prickly pear cactus.

He tried to shrug off the episode, but for the rest of the expedition, we fondly referred to him as our 'Trip Leader!'

The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven's Ninth. In the piece, there's a long passage about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one.

After slamming several beers in quick succession, one of them looked at his watch. "Hey! We need to get back!"

"No need to panic," said a fellow bassist, "I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a few minutes to get it untangled."

A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion.

"Well, of course," said her companion, "Don't you see? It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded."