What happens when you give a Ford Fiesta Ritalin?
It turns into a Ford Focus.
What's the difference between 16.5 feet and former New York Yankees' star Alex Rodriguez?
No difference at all, they're both "A Rod"!
A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.
A realist sees a freight train.
The train conductor sees three idiots standing on the track.
A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway...
Police advise citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals!