A tourist parked his car in downtown Washington, D.C. He said to a man standing near the curb, "Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?"
"What?" the man huffed. "Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Congress?"
"Well, no," the tourist said, "I didn't realize that. But it's all right. I'll trust you anyway."
The former President is disembarking his private plane, carrying his tiny dog.
One of his Secret Service men says, "Nice dog, sir."
The President says, "Thanks, I got it for the former First Lady."
The Secret Service man replies, "Nice trade, sir."
Secretary: "Congratulations for being elected as the new chairperson for our party!"
Party Chairman: "Thank you! But what is this noise on the streets?"
Secretary: "Sir, party members are celebrating on you becoming the new party chairman."
Chairman: "Please ask them to stop. I don't want any kind of show off from our party men."
Secretary: "Sir, they are not from our party. They belong to the opposition."