What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
The letter 'F'.
What are the favorite vegetables in Washington, D.C.?
In Congress, it's celery...
At the White House, carrots...
And of course, at the Supreme Court, leeks.
After serving for several years in the House of Representatives, Charlie decided to run for a seat in the Senate.
A fellow congressman asked Charlie why he was making this change.
Charlie explained: "My wife wanted me out of the house."
At a campaign stop, a voter told a candidate, "I wouldn't vote for you if you were St. Peter himself!"
"If I were St. Peter," the politician replied, "you wouldn't be in my district."