In a local restaurant a waitress offered the patron a cup of coffee. He refused, pointed a finger at her and said, "Young lady, don't you know that every single person who drinks coffee dies?"
Flustered, she said, "Really?"
Another customer said, "Hey, Mister. Don't scare the young lady like that. Everyone who does NOT drink coffee dies, too."
"I know," said the first patron. I am studying to be a politician. Half truths, even if what I said is the whole truth, is good enough."
My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.
He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.
For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs and he is not required to do any upkeep.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick ... I think my dog is a member of Congress!
A (coming of age) talk with his grandson the evening before his graduation from high school.
Paul Revere: I’ll never forget a certain midnight ride. We were on the verge of impending war with the British. The smell of fear and uncertainty lingered in the night air.
Paul Revere: Yes?
Grandson: Who are the British?
A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.
”We have 2 basic needs sir,” replied the villager. “Firstly, we have a hospital, but there’s no doctor.”
On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speaking for a while he reassured the village leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
“Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village.”