A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, the center's director told him that he was an acceptable candidate.
"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive?"
"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars. An ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand. An ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. And an ounce of a politician's brain is seventy-five thousand dollars."
"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a politicians brain? Why on earth is that?"
"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many politicians it takes to get an ounce of brain?"
Three Boy Scouts, were fishing in a boat one day when they heard a lot of commotion. They followed the sounds and found another boat capsized as a man struggled to keep his head above water. Being Boy Scouts, they went to his aid and fished the man out.
The man was Bill Clinton. The ex-president toweled himself off and caught his breath, and thanked the three scouts. He asked if there was anything he could do for them. "I'd sure like a tour of the White House," the first scout said. "Can you still pull that off?"
"No problem," said Bill. "How's next week?"
"I want to go for a ride in Air Force One," said the second scout.
"We can do that next week, too," Bill replied.
"I'd like to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery," said the third.
"I'm sure we can arrange that," said Bill. "But son, you're awfully young to be worrying about that, aren't you?"
"You don't know my Dad," the scout replied. "When he finds out I helped save your life, he's gonna kill me!"
I told my son, "You will marry the girl I choose."
He said, "No."
I told him, "She is Bill Gate's daughter."
He said, "Yes."
I called Bill Gates and said, "I want your daughter to marry my son."
Bill Gates said, "No".
I told Bill Gates, "My son is the CEO of World Bank."
Bill Gates said, "Okay".
I called the president of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
He said, "No".
I told him, "My son is Bill Gate's son-in-law."
He said, "Okay."
And this is how politics works!