A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus.
"It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway," he said.
"Actually," said his guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation."
The visitor was astonished. "Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?"
"Yes, indeed," said his guide. "He wrote a check."
For those struggling with the English language, this may help...
Don't = Do not
Won't = Wo not!
College is really just kidnapping done backwards...
If you don’t give us a ridiculously large amount of money, we’ll send you your child back!
When a young man left his dorm and moved into an apartment, he went shopping for cleaning equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products.
At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips.
Seeing the checkout clerk's quizzical look, he explained, "I'm a very messy eater."