It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the University's intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."
Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars please return to class."
A college student could not take his seminar final exam because of a funeral.
"No problem," the teacher told him. "Make it up the following week." That week came, and again he couldn't take the test due to another funeral.
"You'll have to take the test early next week," the professor insisted. "I can't keep postponing it."
"I'll take the test next week if no one dies," the undergrad replied.
By now I the instructor was suspicious. "How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?"
"I don't know any of these people," the student exclaimed. "But I'm the only gravedigger in town."
John: When I was in college one of my professors did a study on "WHAT IS THE BEST LENGTH FOR A PERSON'S LEGS."
Fred: That sounds interesting.
John: Yes it was, and do you know what he found to be the best length for a person's legs?
Fred: No, what was it?
John: Just long enough to reach the ground.