I am trying to convince my dad to get a new hearing aid.
But he just won't listen.
You know you've reached middle age...
When you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.
What is the time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement?
1 banano-second.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then hung up.
I’m getting sick and tired of these cold calls.