holiday jokes

Resolutions You Can Keep...

1.) Gain at least 30 pounds.

2.) Read less.

3.) Stop exercising.

4.) Watch more TV.

5.) Procrastinate more.

6.) Start being superstitious.

7.) Spend more time at work.

8.) Stop bring lunch from home and eat out more.

9.) Sleep more.

10.) Start a new bad habit.

As I was waiting in the Doctor's office the day after Christmas I accidentally overheard a conversation between the desk employee and another patient on the phone.

Employee: "Ma'am the Doctor's office will be closed for the next few days due to the snow storm headed into town. Would you please choose a date to reschedule? Would sometime next week be fine?

I could hear the patient on the phone getting upset and not wanting to change her appointment.

Trying to be as polite as he could, the employee began again: "But ma'am when you show up this week for your appointment no one will be here because of the snow storm."

I then heard yelling from the woman on the line before she abruptly hung up. The employee shook his head in disbelief. Trying to make his day a little better I said, "You would think after Christmas people would have a better attitude."

Employee: "She's more Halloween than Christmas!"