holiday jokes

'Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
But I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep
The leftovers beckoned
The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.

Tossing and turning with anticipation,
The thought of a snack became infatuation!
So I raced to the kitchen,
Flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.

I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
Till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground!!

I crashed through the ceiling, floated into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie,
But I managed to yell as I soared past the trees ...

HAPPY EATING TO ALL, PASS THE CRANBERRIES PLEASE!!!

BUFFET: A French word that means, "Get up and get it yourself." (Internet Source)

BUTTERBALL TURKEY: Someone who would rather watch a soccer match on TV than join the family for Thanksgiving dinner. (MsSam)

CALORIE: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food. (Lexicon)

CASSEROLE: Thanksgiving leftovers incognito. (Variation of a daffynition by Lexicon)

CIRCUMSPECTIVE DESSERT: Pumpkin pi. (MsSam)

FLABBERGASTED: Bewildered at your weight gain over the holidays. (Variation of an Internet Source)

FOODSTUFF: All you can eat buffet. (Charles G. Waugh)

FOWL: Four letter bird. (Variation of a statement in Art. Moger, ed., The Complete Pun Book, 1979, p. 99)

FOUL WIND: Breeze produced by a flying turkey. (Internet Source)

KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL THANKSGIVING DAY PARTY: The tur-key. (Joseph Leff)

GOBBLE: A bull that talks turkey. (Internet Source)

A surgeon was invited to Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's house.

The host deftly carved the turkey and said, "I'd make a pretty good surgeon, don't you think?"

The surgeon replied, "Anybody can take it apart. Let's see you put it back together again."