holiday jokes

One Easter Sunday morning as the pastor was preaching a children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg.

He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"

"I know, I know!" a little boy exclaimed, "Pantyhose!"

I was eating lunch on the 18th of February with my 10-year-old grandson and I asked him, "What day is tomorrow?"

He said, "It's President's Day!"

I asked, "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln, etc.

He replied, "President's Day is when the President steps out of the White House. If he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment."

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

Sure, they're very scent-imental!

Why do valentines have hearts on them?

Because spleens would look pretty gross!