I was doing some baking for the holidays, so I was kneading dough. It was getting late and I was tired so, I decided to leave the cleanup mess until the next morning.
The next morning, I was getting my coffee and I noticed thousands of little tiny footprints in the flour on the countertop.
Needless to say, I wasted no time calling the FBI.
They confirmed that I did, in fact, have Ant-Tracks.
'Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
But I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep
The leftovers beckoned
The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
The thought of a snack became infatuation!
So I raced to the kitchen,
Flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
Till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground!!
I crashed through the ceiling, floated into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie,
But I managed to yell as I soared past the trees ...
HAPPY EATING TO ALL, PASS THE CRANBERRIES PLEASE!!!
Two men were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into the lion's eyes and then runs. The second man stays, unmoved.
The first man looks back and shouts, "Why are you not running?"
The second man replies, "Why should I be running? You're the one who threw the sand."