A snobby man looked at me at a party and said, "You look poor!"
"Well," I clarified, "I've got an outfit for everyday of the week."
"Do you really?" he replied.
I said, "Yes. It's this one!"
Jack's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence with numerous guests arriving. During the evening, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to where the food was, in the kitchen.
He sat there happily, chatting away for a couple of hours before it all clicked. "You know," he confided to Jack, "I wasn't even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my driveway."
He continued, "My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved, so that we can go out."
Q: What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A: His transparents.
We've just played the Christmas edition of Clue...
My wife murdered the Christmas dinner, in the kitchen, with the oven!